Okay, last entry was a little over the top I suppose. I panicked. (Wouldn't be the first time) Turns out that I was actually able to get a better deal with the cable hookup after all. So all was not lost...  After $29.99 paid for the first installation, now I can get about 19 channels for $9.99 a month.  Not bad. There's enough for now. WGN, tbs, Lifetime, Comedy Central, Fox and the three networks...that's enough for now.  It's at least better than what I had before which was two CBS channels and four PBS stations. 

That's all I've got to say.  At least for now.

Bye

Wow, this is a tricky one 'cause I like so many...  Yes, I am a sci-fi geek and proud of it!  For a long time it was Star Trek until I was old enough to realize it was basically a man's fantasy and that although women's rights had come a long way baby, miniskirts and kissing Capt. Kirk still seemed a requirement.  (I'm a spock fan myself.) 

Now I'm all grown up, things have changed.  Alien is good, but too creepy (and messy...ugly creatures gestating and then bursting out of someone's chest is way to icky).  I'd have to say my true faves are a tie between Galaxy Quest (muppet aliens with a bad attitude and sexy squids that 'can' look human...neat!), and Babylon 5, totally.  B5 always had that gritty texture Star Trek could have used and didn't always rely on technology to get them out of a jam (Garibaldi, security chief could use his fists as well as a gun.)

Oh and honorable mention: Stargate Atlantis. The technology is so cool, the sets amazing and even the bad guy Wraiths are sexy.

I've had plenty of recurring dreams.  Most of them involve flying...usually me flying over my neighborhood, just above the tree tops.  And just as I'm about to wake, I feel myself dropping. It's great when I can catch myself and then try to fall back asleep and regain that feeling of flying again, but it never works.  It is a great feeling, though.  It's wonderful...so liberating, carefree.  I've also had several awful nightmares that won't leave me alone.  One in particular finds me in a huge house that at first I love being in, but soon I realize that although I can go up or down the many staircases, in and out of the various rooms (decorated in a myriad of styles), there are no doors to the outside anywhere.  I get the feeling my subconscious must feel trapped in some way, eh? 

Unfortunately yes, I was cruelly pinched on St. Patrick's Day when I was in middle school.  I live in a small Michigan town and thought it happened mostly because there's so little excitement as a rule.  The funny thing was I actually was wearing a blouse with green in the pattern, but since I was wearing a jacket over it at the time, my torturer didn't see it, nor took the time to wait for me to tell them "yes, I am technically wearing green ..do not even think about touching me you stupid moron!"  Joke was on them, but I still suffered the pain. C'est la vie!  Happy St. Paddy's Day ya'll. 

I feel really guilty for not keeping up with my journal.  Time to do something about that, says I (ha, ha). It seems there's been too much going on, most not all positive.  That's not a reasonable excuse for neglecting my posts...it just is what it is.  To get the boring stuff out of the way......if feels as if my old house is falling apart a little at a time.  One thing goes and then another.  Water pump, water heater, broken light switch, etc.... Yeesh, it gets depressing.  Of course the worst part of it is that funds are so tight they squeak, so I'm trying to get by with what I can until the family budget gets better.  Not exactly sure when that is going to happen!

At least the weather has begun to break.  It feels as if it has been winter for years!  Today is actually wonderful!  Robins and Red-Winged Blackbirds are singing a chorus and the sun is out.  Temperatures that used to be 20 degrees are now soaring to 50. Wow, that is a big deal.  The snow is actally disappearing, and I really hadn't expected that to ever happen again.  Sure a bit unrealistic, I agree, but when in the very middle of a deep freeze, it is difficult to see past the icy tundra outside the window.  So, at least today is a good day. 

Anyway, enough of the drolls of real life....now to the weirdness of within...

As for my story writing: I still haven't been able to concentrate long enough to finish a viable sentence.  It is maddening!  I don't want to be distracted, but it feels like my mind is unraveling sometimes.  Too much junk just swirling around, disconnected.  The things I need to need to do, want to do, along with a boatload of worries all jumbled up together.  My kingdom for one rational thought.

Along with the distracted state-of-mind, there's this underlying feeling of hopelessness...like who cares?  Why is anything I do important at all?   Not helpful, to say the least.  I'm trying to fight it, but I'm getting pretty exhausted.

Even with a tight financial budget I just had to purchase one thing just for me.   One of my all-time favorite tv programmes is Buffy the Vampire Slayer and that being said, I knew I needed some music from the series.  So, I splurged a whole $6 on the CD, Radio Sunnydale with music from the series.  I always loved the innovative concept Joss Whedon used to incorporate the music from independant artists and bands into the show.  It gave his great writing and vision just that extra edge.   My favorite songs off the album are key >>devics, Ballad for Dead Friends >>Dashboard Prophets, Blue>>Angie Hart, There's No Other Way>>Blur, Prayer Of Saint Francis>>Sarah McLachlan, and of course the Main Title theme (done by the breeders) and The Final Fight score.  I LOVE this series and the music is awesome in its own right, but complements any fan's collection quite well.

Other than that I did manage to focus long enough to read a book by Peter Straub, and old story I've read before called Shadowland.  It is quite a departure from much of his other work, not as creepy as Julia or as gory either, but definitely some psychological terror for the young magician in the story.  I love the imagery and how the fairy tales told within weave well into the real problems facing the characters.

That reminds me, I'm terribly eager for the DVD release of Stephenie Meyer's Twilight.  I loved the book, and finished up New Moon a couple of months ago.  It was one book that actually did hold my usually unfocused mind.  I look forward to reading the next one, too.

I woke up this morning with a song running rampant through my brain.  Have you ever had that happen?  You go to sleep the night before not thinking of anything in particular, and by morning you've got music in your head?  I don't know if it meant anything, you know, like my mind trying to tell me something deep and meaningful, but the song was It Ends Tonight by The All-American Rejects.  It's something to think about, I suppose.  Or not.  Just one more thought added to the mix. 

I do promise to be back here more often...not for anyone else, of course, but for me.  I like this way of trying to clear the cobwebs from my mind.  Perhaps if I do it more often, it will actually work and through the process I will eventually make sense of the madness.  I have to have hope, don't I?

~ Au Revoir ~